Expectations

A friend told me once "Jackie, it's not fair for you to expect other people to have your standards". He's someone that I have a great deal of affection for, but don't have a great deal of respect for. That said, it is a surprise to me that this comment sticks with me. And maybe, it sticks because I know it to be true. Once again, having said all of that, it seems arrogant to expect others to live up to my ideals.

This subject rears its head on a fairly regular basis with me. This particular weekend, we spent with an estranged family member. She was pleasant, but distant, giving us basic information, but nothing of herself. The first day was awkward, the second easier. When this happens with her, or anyone else for that matter, I catch myself thinking there will be an improvement in the relationship. This is followed by disappointment and thoughts of how I would handle the situation.

I'm not sure what the answer is. Inside of me is the feeling that people are basically good and given the chance ultimately the best will emerge. That's where the trouble begins; that's what I would do. The truth is - according to me - not everyone has the same thing to give. There is no way to know another person's truth, why the response is what it is.

I need to find a way to still give my best, not guard myself, but also not take another's response, or lack of response so personally. When I figure that out.....